IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE:

The maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed, 'Subsequential Internal Non- Morality,' or more commonly known as S-I-N, because it's primary symptom is loss of moral judgment. Other symptoms include:

(a) Loss of direction
(b) Foul vocal emissions
(c) Amnesia of origin
(d) Lack of peace and joy
(e) Selfish, or violent, behavior
(f) Depression or confusion in the mental component
(g) Fearful
(h) Idolatry

The manufacturer, who is neither liable or at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service, free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The number to call for the recall station in your area is P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN by pressing R-E-P-E-N-T-A-N-C-E.

Next, download J-E-S-U-S into the heart. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, the JESUS repair will replace it with:

(a) Love
(b) Joy
(c) Peace
(d) Long-suffering
(e) Gentleness
(f) Goodness
(g) Faith
(h) Meekness
(i) Temperance

Please see operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING : Continuing to operate the human unit without correction, voids the manufacturer's warranty, exposing owner to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

For free emergency service, call on J-E-S-U-S.

DANGER: The human units not receiving this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace.